There's a (Slight) Chance I Might Be Going to Hell: A Novel of Sewer Pipes, Pageant Queens, and Big Trouble by Laurie Notaro

Author:Laurie Notaro [Notaro, Laurie]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Fiction, Humorous, General
ISBN: 9780345500045
Google: pN88zpaaXUIC
Barnesnoble:
Goodreads: 607236
Publisher: Villard
Published: 2007-05-29T04:00:00+00:00

With Ruby Spicer’s file copied and in her hand, Maye did the first thing any reporter would do—she went straight to the city directory and looked her up, but to no avail, which was no surprise. Then she searched all the directories going back fifty years, to when Ruby was crowned, but still nothing was listed. It was entirely possible Ruby had just gotten married and moved away, and if that was the case, she was determined to find that, too. Then she did the first thing any obituary writer would do and headed over to City Hall, where the vital records—including death and marriage certificates, land deeds, house titles—were kept. Just as she was about to cross the street, Maye heard a strange noise coming up from behind her.

WHOOOO! WHOOO! WHOOO! She turned as a voice suddenly rang out, “ON YOUR RIGHT!,” and a unicyclist ripped by her and knocked the photocopies out of her hand, sending the pages fluttering all over the sidewalk.

“ASSHOLE!” Maye automatically yelled out as the other pedestrians turned to stare at her rather than the rogue one-wheeled biker, as if pointing out his assholian nature was a far bigger crime than accosting someone with a recreational vehicle. And that made her even angrier.

“What? When’s the last time you were hit by a piece of circus equipment?” she bellowed at the gawkers as she started attempting to collect the pages that were fluttering and also skipping down the street.

As she was bent over trying to catch the copies, she felt a tap on her shoulder and turned around to see her plumber and cop, John Smith.

“Looks like you dropped this,” he said, handing her several sheets of paper.

“Yeah, I think I was just the victim of a hit-and-pedal,” Maye said as she took the copies from John, who was clearly on law-enforcing duty.

“If I see the one-wheeled bandit again today, I’ll make sure to give him a ticket,” John said, laughing. “So, what’s this you have here? Stuff about Ruby Spicer, I see.”

Maye nodded, hesitant to say too much. “Yeah, it sounds like a fascinating story, I was thinking about checking it out,” she replied.

“It’s a story, all right. She’s a little legendary in these parts, but stories are sometimes just stories,” he told her. “They grow and get bigger when sometimes there wasn’t anything there to begin with. Pretty lady, though. I remember that parade, even though I couldn’t even hold a wrench or a gun back then.”

“Yeah, she was beautiful,” Maye agreed, getting a little bit of a feeling that there was something John wasn’t saying. “Striking. Odd how she just one day vanished. Because I was thinking, she was this lovely girl, it seemed like the town adored her, and one day she’s just gone? It doesn’t really make sense. Not to me. Does it make sense to you?”

“Well, you know,” John started, then looked past Maye. “Sometimes there are people who just don’t want to be found. One day they are just gone, for whatever reason.

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